Humbled Spirit!!

Dream Big or Go HOME!

Dream Big or Go HOME!

As a child it was so easy to dream and to dream big!  I could remember pretending that I was super girl and that when I grew up I would rule the entire world and wear a pretty fairy outfit.  As I look back, it seems as if those dreams blew away just as quickly as the fairy dust that I would dream about.  Then, I had to ask the serious question as an adult, why did so many of us stop dreaming?  Some might say that life happened, some may say that dreams don't really come true and the lists go on.  My challenge is this, if there was nothing stopping you:

A) Money

B) Location

C) Opportunity

D) People

E) Negative Thoughts

F) Yourself??

What would you do?  Many of us create our own glass ceiling and we need to dream as if a glass ceiling doesn't exist!!  Everyday, we see people who have made their dreams come true and we use the excuse that they had someone to help them, or they were born more privileged than I was.  Those are all just excuses.  I'm not saying that there will never be difficulties or bumps in the road but start working toward the mark.  The internet allows us to research all types of people, careers and other areas, while also showing us what people did to achieve their goals.  Start the work, start the research, create a Vision Board!  I believe strongly in vision boards because it begins to make your dreams tangible and it needs to be placed somewhere you will be able to see it frequently.  Start creating short term and long term goals to mark how you are going to achieve those goals and start living your life like you deserve to have the things that are on that board.  If you feel as though your life is not in order and these things are a far reach from you, then talk to God and ask Him what He would have for you to do.  Many times, those very dreams and goals that we have on our heart have been lovingly placed there by God Himself.....Just a thought!  Dare to dream...

What are some of your dreams?  A new car, house, running a non-profit organization....remember, the glass ceiling doesn't exist!

Emotion vs. Fact

Emotion vs. Fact

There are many things that come against our mind, body and spirit at least a thousand times per day.  However, the difficult part is discerning which one of them are true, if any.  The best way that I know to determine this is to have a close walk with Christ and a very strong prayer life.  The only thing that I know without a shadow of a doubt to be true is God's word because He can not tell a lie.  Your emotions will lie to you because that is the place that the enemy likes to play in because the enemy knows what hurts you, what angers you and what takes your mind off of Christ.

I have made mistakes in this area "many" times because you can't depend solely on your emotions; however don't always discount them either.   The best way to guard against spiritual terrorism or spiritual bullying is to ensure that YOU have a right spirit before God and have repented of the sin that exists in your life.  The best way to know if you are on the right path is that it should line up with the word of God and I'm not talking about manipulating the word so that it suites your needs at the moment, but because it is the unadulterated word of God and it stands firm all by itself!  

Keep trying, never get discouraged and don't give up.  Lean on God for EVERYTHING and continue to grow that relationship with Christ.

What do you think?

Currently working on my next book! This is sure to be a laugh out loud (because you can see yourself), yet serious at times type of book. Coming soon....can you guess what it's about?

Loving to Be Loved

Loving to Be Loved

How many people do you know that love to be loved?  Out of those people, how many, including yourself do you know that are willing to accept "true" love or something that resembles loves, but couldn't be further from the truth.  In society today that word love is sorely overused and misused.  We were created to want to be loved; however the true love that we crave is the love that God gives.  Not understanding or knowing the true love of The Lord can lead people astray.  The world gives examples daily on the incorrect definition of love and how it effects individuals in many different ways.  I'm going to just list a few ways that people utilize love incorrectly, sometimes to death...

A) Buying love

B) Using sex

C) Physical or Mental Abuse

D) Control

E) Manipulation

F) Threatening of all sorts

These are just to name a few.  However, once you find the love of Christ and you study the Word of God, you will begin to understand what true love is "Agape", because that is how He loves us.  Once you have truly learned how God feels about you, it will become difficult to receive anything less than how God wants you to be loved.  Also, it will teach you how to properly love other people.  I'm not saying that it is magic and you won't make mistakes but you will have a true example of what love is.  I learned late in life how to love myself because I would often equate physical affection as love, which later down the road led me into a lot of unwanted trouble and low self-esteem.   Another important aspect of love is that we must truly love ourselves and who God created us to be.  One of the worse things to do is to compare yourself with someone else.  Enjoy the person that God created you to be and allow Him to make the necessary changes in your life for His honor and glory.  Remember, God made no mistakes when you were made because He knew you at the beginning of creation.  Think about it...your eye color, hair color, skin color, your height, etc. were all hand created by God.  We are God's unique and beautiful masterpieces.  How awesome is that?  So before you down yourself for any reason, whether it be a set back, something that you consider a flaw & God considers uniqueness, remember the love and detail that went into creating you.  Love you!!

Submissive to WHO?!: Respect for a Man vs. Love for a Woman

Submissive to WHO?!: Respect for a Man vs. Love for a Woman: Respect for a Man vs. Love for a Woman Some might say that this is like comparing apples to oranges and in a way it is; however it is a...

Respect for a Man vs. Love for a Woman

Respect for a Man vs. Love for a Woman

Some might say that this is like comparing apples to oranges and in a way it is; however it is also very similar in some ways.  Making many mistakes in past relationships or even mistakes in my marriage has shown me what the lack of respect can do to a man, in addition to the lack of love that isn't given to a woman.  I've learned that men need to be needed because if a woman has no need for her husband or significant other, in his mind...what is he there for?  Think about that!  It makes perfect sense to me.  Yes, we want the companionship but men are the head of the household, the bread winners, the protectors and the providers.  If a wife takes that away from him, what does he have left?  Men are wired completely different from women and men have pride and almost need to roar a little (for a lack of a better term).  Women should encourage their husbands or significant others, not insult them or tell them what they can't do.  By building up your mate, it encourages him to want to do above and beyond for you in order to make you happy and please you.  In the right relationship a good woman can encourage her man so much that he will begin to do things that he didn't even know that he could do. 

Now lets switch gears a little and venture into the woman's side!

Women need love, we want to be loved and we also want to give love because we are nurturers by right, emotional beings.  When a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing (Proverbs 18:22).  Now, lets put that into perspective.  Without going to deep, this woman needs to be the right woman and men must understand that she is fed by love and will have no problem encouraging her mate as long as he is loving her.  I'm not stating that this woman needs to be needy, I'm saying that her husband should sincerely love her.  As women, when many of us are love starved, in the wrong relationship and have not put God first in all areas of our lives, this can be a dangerous mix for a man and woman.  Each must give what the other needs.  I'm not speaking on things that only God should be supplying, but the needs that God actually requires that we give to our mates and those things are different.  However, if they are put together correctly it will become harmonious; hence two spirits becoming one!  The amazing thing about it all is that when both the man and woman does their part properly, it can result in synergy (the interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects).

I would love to hear your thoughts on this?

Culture Differences in Women Submitting to their Husbands

Culture Differences in Women Submitting to their Husbands

I have always been a little curious about this particular topic!  Are there really major cultural differences when it comes to women submitting to their husbands?  I've personally learned that in America, sometimes women have taken on the "male" role or responsibilities as a parent and the bread winner as a result of many things happening in the American household.  These "things" could range from being a single parent, the loss of a husband, discord in the household where a loss of respect has happened.  But, does this change in reference to submission only happen in the American culture?

I lived in Japan for three years and I was completely amazed at the strength and resilience of most Japanese women and the level of submission that they had with their husbands, be they of Japanese decent or if they married Americans.  Has the level of respect for our husbands diminished?  Or, does the world only show the negative side of this and capitalize off of the negative side in order to gain hostility among the different cultures.  When I would walk down the streets of Japan, I would see that many of the Japanese women would walk behind their husbands and if their husbands were speaking, they would not interrupt, nor would they speak unless they were gestured to do so by their husbands.  Seeing an argument, let alone an argument in public never happened.  However, in American society this is sadly a common thing, some of which I have been guilty of myself on so many levels.

What I believe it boils down to is that for so long, many women had to become the strength in the family for numerous reasons and when it's time to be the gentle wife and submit, we find it hard to do so because we have been in charge for so long.  Men need respect and women need love.  Although it can be difficult to grasp the whole submission to your husband concept, even in a difficult situation, if it is done in love and with the "right" individual it could greatly bless your life.

What are your thoughts on this?  Would love to hear a man's thoughts as well!

Dealing with the "OTHER" woman!

PART II

     After dealing with the grief of the betrayal, I think that the next steps that are made are crucial to the relationship and sets the tone for any future restoration of the relationship or lack there of!  It has been said so many times that women are so emotional and yes, we are emotional but that is the way we were wired.  Women are wired to desire love, while men are wired to desire respect.  Not saying that men don't need love as well; however respect is crucial to their pride.  

     A serious decision has to be made as to whether or not you want the relationship to be restored, and I am not one to tell someone to leave their spouse!  If at all possible, try to speak to your spouse because usually the cheating individual "feels" as if a need isn't being met.  Another important thing, please DO NOT begin to compare yourself to the "other" woman because looks are very, very deceiving!  Understand, if a woman is willingly in a relationship with a married man, there is definitely a character flaw somewhere inside of her.  Don't get into the arguing stage with your spouse about what does she have that I don't.  Entering into this type of conversation will drive a deeper wedge between you and your spouse as well as drive him into her arms.  If you are not ready to have a civil conversation, then don't!  Try not to push yourself too hard!!  Also, prayer is the most powerful weapon that you have.  Understand, God respects the sanctity of marriage, not adultery, I don't care how it may appear. 

     This next one might throw you a little bit but pray for her and the spirit that is driving her into this relationship and ask God to remove her out of your marriage.  Next, don't tell everyone that you run into about the discord in your relationship.  The reason that I say this is because people will always have an opinion, but they may not share your opinion.  Once friends and family get their say in the entire situation, it will make it that much harder to make a rational decision.  Also, if you decide to remain in the relationship the percentage of the other woman coming up in conversations and family members having negative feelings about either one of you increases drastically.

Have you ever experienced this situation?  If so, what did you do to work the situation out?  And, did it work for the good? 

 Excerpt from my book "He S.A.W. Me! Saved, Anointed & Walks with Me...."

Page 11.....

     Loneliness is a terrible and sobering feeling when you have walked away from everything that you know and love for something that was never real.  I had alienated my girlfriends who always supported me.  I felt nothing but shame when I thought about my family.  I had become a stranger to everyone who knew me, and finally I had lost my job.  False pride kept me from going back to my mother's house and asking for help.  It kept me in that basement for two weeks like a crazy hermit who was losing her mind.
     I started not to care about how I looked or.................................................................................

Dealing with the "OTHER" woman!

     PART I

      Adultery is a messy, hurtful and almost blinding situation.  As women we are born with intuition; however many of us refuse to acknowledge it.  Have you ever suspected that your loved one was seeing another woman but couldn't quite put your finger on it?  Then it happens, you find out that he is in a relationship with another woman.  I have been in this situation before and trust me, I was blinded with anger to put it mildly.  My first response was to deal with her, not saying that he was innocent but he was my second thought while she was my first.  In hindsight that was not the best method.  First I needed to deal with home first, then deal with the woman.  

      I must say that wisdom must be used because you may or may not know who or what you're dealing with.  I do not recommend begging this woman to leave your husband or significant other alone because if it were that easy, she wouldn't be in the picture now.  I speak this especially to married women, don't (physically) beat this woman and you shouldn't have compete with another woman for YOUR husband!   In short, maintain your self respect and don't lower yourself to her level because to be quite honest, sometimes she just doesn't care anything about your family or the pain that she is causing.  Adultery is an underlying selfish act and the only people who care are the one's involved.  If you can, don't give either one of them any of your tears, pain or anguish.  If you have to blow off steam, use wisdom!  Cry in the privacy of your own space, try not to enter into any yelling matches but if you must have a conversation, have it on your terms.   The reason why I say not to enter into any conversations is because by this time your "loved" one has already made a choice and you don't want to push them closer together.  Give yourself some time to grieve, get a clear mind because this will keep you from making rash decisions that you can not undo.  

Do you have any suggestions for someone going through a situation like this?  I would love to hear your take on this topic! 

Submission (Weakness or Power)

Submission is EVERYWHERE you look!  Whether you're submitting to an employer, spouse, situation or God.  I have always had a strong personality and often wondered why I had to submit and why isn't anyone submitting to me?!  Not understanding this process often caused me to become rebellious or miss out on opportunities. 

The misconception of submission is what has our insides doing back flips because we don't want anyone having the upper hand over our lives.  Married women can really relate to the topic of submission and what it means in relation to a wife submitting to her husband.  I used to say, my husband is not the boss of me and I will do what I want, when I want and how I want and if he doesn't like it, guess what?  He can surely leave!  I eventually learned that through submission is where I found my "power".  

Who do you have a hard time submitting to?  Can you help someone else out who may be having difficulty with submission?